Chronically So

Before the moment I open my eyes
I notice you

You wake with me
When I move

You move with me
Many times I lay longer with you

Holding you in the softness of my hands

Holding you in my mind’s memories

Wondering how long you will stay with me
Wondering what you will reveal to me

Today, you are simply a sensation, an object of my senses
You are a symptom of my imagination

I no longer shove you away
I no longer numb you with society’s prescriptions

I no longer despise you or deny you
You are nothing separate from me

You are nothing to be hated
You are nothing

You are part of who I am
You are part of how I am… in this world

So every step I take
I take with you

I embrace you as my own
I love you

Just as you are
For as long as you need to be there

For as long
As you need to be me

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Wake Me

Wake Me

Wake me, from my slumber

Shock me like thunder

Provoke the fear living

In my nervous system

Because it wants to shake me

Apparently for some reason

But I know

I need to pay attention

Once my enemy

I ran and flew

Now my friend

I know it's you

To teach me lessons that only a few

Witness if they only knew

The significance of

The Pain

Anxiety

Worry

And Courage

For tomorrow isn't now

It's fantasy that's all

Disguised to borrow

A moment of my mind’s tragedy

So this is what I do...

 When fear bubbles up causing

Havoc and sorrow

 I look down the nose

Of my bow and arrow

 Focus on MY truth,

A frame on my wall

...A door to walk through

Beyond that

I

Stand

Tall

With confidence

Vice griped fear

Dissolves Away

Dropping, right through my fingertips today

Virabhadrasana keep me straight

Virabhadrasana keep me narrow…

Keep me breathing

Through the h o l l o w nostrils

 Though… the currents that leads to

To the quiet that follows….

 Unshakable when aware

Looking into my moment

The mirror I stare

Wake me from my slumber

Shock me like thunder

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Conversational Yoga with AC Brown

Conversational Yoga

"The Yogi teaches Laughing Yoga" she said with a smile....

"Careful it makes your belly hurt," he tried to joke

He was nudging her to share her many faces

Quiet face

Soft face

“The day here is soft,
grey with flecks of blue breaking free,
above green trees,…” he said

“Well…it’s ferociously windy here... and cold"
She replied

AC Brown & Laureen De Shazer
11/15/2015

Phantoms Fall

Passed LA
Beyond SJ
Northeast of SF
There is this place

If you're lucky
You may see
A little Table Mountain
Tucked away from the tourist seas

Black cow
Lavender Lupine
Persistent Poppies
Pink clover

Wild spinach
Phantoms fall
Rock piles
Deep ravines

Meddling mosquito
Twisted oak
Counterfeit poison oak
Dead wood

Mossy walls
Volcanic erosions
Basalt cliffs
Salamander ponds

Falling deeper
As  the individual droplets 
Fall onto me
As the many, from the one 

That surrounds me
That supports me
That feeds me
and rises up through me

I am that

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Mothers Divine

From the depths below
From the weeds we've sown

Traversing mother's nature
Witnessing this show

Up her shielded coverings
To her watered valleys

Deep in her fertile soil
Openings from her yoni that grow

As offerings
As offsprings

Branching out beyond her
Discoveries in the soft sun's glow

Seagulls
Ravens
Flies buzzing close

Listening to the breezes
Listening to the cicadas whisperings

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Mocking Bird

Mocking Bird, singing your song

I heard you in darkness this morning at dawn

Your essence visited me before this day

But you echoed in a different way

I didn't know it was you

But now, I sincerely do

You have been there all along

Sharing your precious song

Over and over in my heart

I caught the verses in their parts

Wondering what you were

I started listening...

                                                                                                                     

Your melodies expanded

I started noticing...

In my mundane domestic tasks

You bring me pockets of ponderings and  peace that lasts

Chorusing into my joy

Guiding me back to my source

Your determination brought me straight to my moments

Giving me glimpses into my Nows

Mocking Bird, Early Bird

I know your sweetness today

Disguised as nature, is your way

of letting me know the depth you play

Waking with me, I hear your song

Repeating your mantra, it goes on and on

In my mind, dropping to my heart

This early morning or any other starts

Your sacred silence follows

Reminding  me of my empty hollows

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Church Bells

I hear church bells outside my house

The turtle doves cooing

The finch domesticating in the pine

The humming bird hovering in my fountain

I hear church bells ringing softly

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If I Had My Way

If I had my way

If I had my way
I'd wouldn't wear a watch
I'd go barefoot in a garden 
Plant seeds that stir up change 
I'd crawl into a damp cave
I'd lose my purse
I'd climb a tree
Roll down a grassy hill
Go topless without a thrill
I throw out my hair dryer

If I had my way

I'd make sand angels on a dune 
I'd sleep until noon
I'd swim naked in a pool
I'd grow my hair
I'd have a cat, a rat, a rabbit and a turtle 
I wouldn't wear a bra
I'd unplug my commuter
I'd walk without a phone
I'd sing with my children

I'd love deeper, if I had my way 

Art by Carol McCullen

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